A Mind Blowing Reminder Of Truth

So this semester, a couple friends and I have been reading (very slowly) through a book called Because He Loves Me: How Christ Transforms Our Daily Life by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick.  I highly recommend you pick yourself up a copy because, as this blog entry's title alludes to, it is a ming blowing reminder of truth and of the gospel. Today in my quiet time, I was reading a section of the book and I came across this:
        "When your heart accuses you and says, 'You're so worthless. Look at the way you've failed Him again!' you can confidently answer, 'It is true that on my own I am worthless, but he has made me completely righteous in his Son. He has declared the he loves me and his love is now the most important thing about me. I believe that he won't stop loving me until he stops loving his own Son. I can begin to serve him again because I know he is here, with me, sustaining me and granting me his grace.'"

How amazing is it to know, that even when we stumble (which is always going to happen because as the bible says, "All have fallen short of the glory of God.") He loves us the same. Not only does He still love us the same, but He also continues to be with us, sustain us, and grant us grace. How awesome, in the true sense of the word! God will never stop loving his Son, so He will never stop loving us. Yes on our own we are worthless. Even though this statement may sound kind of harsh, it reminds us of our great dependence on the Lord. We are desperately dependent on Him and Him alone! How many times do we all feel as if we have failed? How often do we feel beaten or feel like we have lost? Too often in my life, I forget that my significance comes from God the Father and nowhere else. When I forget this, I live to perform to the standards I and the world have set for myself. I reach for the goals I have set or for those that have been set for me. When I do this, I am trying to live on my own without help from anyone, even without help from God. And all too often it ends with me feeling beaten or like I have lost or failed. I feel worthless because I have not "won." But when I am finally reminded of truth, whether I realize I have strayed and point myself back to truth or whether someone else points me back, I am nearly overwhelmed. I remember the kind of things this quote says and rest in the embrace of my Lord and Savior. The only questions now are: When will we (when will I) quit trying to do things on my own? And when will we finally be able to rest in the fact that He loves us the same and no performance, whether good or bad, will make Him love us more or less?

YUHHHHH for Young Life

Well, here we go. Recently, as in a week and one day ago, I got placed at a high school as a Young Life leader. For those of you who know me, this has been a long process. And now, it is finally happening. I felt called to this ministry last semester before the summer ended.  However, that was not in the Lord's plan. He had more things planned for me before I was to be placed. Because I didn't get placed this past spring I went to Discipleship Focus in Pigeon Forge. I fully believe that the Lord wanted me in Pigeon Forge this past summer and He knew the only way to get me there was to have Young Life "reject" me in a way when I applied for leadership this past spring. I believe whole-heartedly that if I had not been told no by Young Life then I would not have gone to Discipleship Focus and I would not be the person I am today. It was all in the Lord's plan. And now I am officially a Young Life leader at Fulton High School in East Knoxville. I am a FULTON FALCON! Fulton is considered an "urban" school due to its high ethnic diversity. I am really excited to see where the Lord leads me in this ministry. I cannot wait to meet kids and become their friend. I am super pumped to see what the Lord has in store for me and the kids I come in contact with. Tonight is my first club as a leader and I must admit I'm a bit nervous. But also super stoked about what the Lord has in store. I cannot wait to see how He moves through me and my fellow teammates to reach these high school kids. Prayers for me, my team, Fulton High School and its students are greatly appreciated. YUHHHHHHHHH!

Summer 2011 In A Nut Shell

It's hard to explain in meaningful words what I did this summer. I could say all the generics like, I worked at Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee and lived just a mile down the road from the park entrance. I could say that I lived in a cabin (cabin 9 to be exact) with 7 other girls for the majority of the summer. I could say that there were about 50ish people total at this site called Eagle's Call where there were 9 cabins that housed us all. I could say that we all came from different places and that we did this Bible Study together. I could say that we all would get together and worship on Wednesday nights. I could tell you about some of the crazy things that would happen in my cabin like the random dance parties that never seemed to end. I could tell you about all the friends I made that know me better than anyone has ever known me before. I could tell you all of these things and go into great detail about them all and I still would not be able to capture in words what Discipleship Focus was for me this summer. It's hard to explain how nearly 50 people became so close over the course of 10 weeks. It's hard to explain how one's heart, specifically my heart, was changed over those 10 weeks. It's hard to explain the relationships that were formed between us all, whether we became close friends or not, we still have a connection that is unbreakable due to our common expierence this summer. I could go on for days about what I learned through the Bible Study. I could go on for days about what God taught me this summer about myself and about Him. I could go on for days about how the summer of 2011 was the best summer of my life so far. I could go on for days telling story after story, sharing with you laughs and cries from this summer. I could go on for days about the certain people that impacted my life more than they probably know this summer. I could go on and on and on. I could even tell you that because of it all I feel closer to God than I have ever before and that my faith and trust in Him has grown tremendously over the past 10 weeks. Even after all of this, you would not be able to truely grasp all that is Discipleship Focus in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. All I can say now is that home is where the heart is. And right now, "my heart lives in the heart of the Smokies."

Here We Go

Well, this is it. My eventful summer officially begins tomorrow. Tomorrow I am heading up to Pigeon Forge and settling into my new home for the next ten weeks. Sure, I'm pretty stoked about what is to come. But I'm also pretty nervous. You wouldn't know this by looking at me. I cover things up pretty darn well. But I am a little nervous. I mean, who wouldn't be? I am going to a place that I have never been to before. I am living with people I have never met. I will have an actual job which I have never in my life had before. I will have to do grocery shopping and fix my own meals. Nerve racking. Even though I am nervous, I think my excitement trumps it by far. I mean, I get to go somewhere I've never been before! I get to live with people I've never met and become instant best friends with them! I will have an actual job where I make real cash money! I will have to grow up and go grocery shopping and maybe learn to cook a little! It's amazing how the things I am nervous about are actually the things I am most excited about. Funny how things work out.

Una Semana Mas

One more week. That's it. One more week and I will be in Pigeon Forge. I will be settling into my new home for the ten weeks to come. I'll be meeting a gazillion new people and becoming the best of friends with so many people. In one more week, I will get to depend on the Lord like I've never had to before. I will be working a real job for the first time in my entire 19 years of life at one of the coolest places on Earth, Dollywood! In one week, I will start on a journey that will take me to new places. Not just a physical journey to places I've never been, but a spiritual one as well. For lack of a better phrase, it is all about to go down.

The Big One-Nine

Well. Today was my birthday. I turned 19 years old. Another year has come and gone. I had a pretty good day. A million people wished me happy birthday which just made me feel loved and very blessed to have all these people in my life. Someone made biscuits and gravy for me, finally. I've been asking them to make me this for about 5 years now. My family had a cookout and the other half of the family (my aunt, uncle, and cousins) came over for it. We ate and just enjoyed each others company for a while. I went to a service at my high school for this year's graduating class. It wasn't the actual graduation but something like a church service. I saw some friends and former teachers that once again wished me happy birthday and made me feel loved. It also reminded me of how much I ran that school while I was there. I still bleed maroon and gray, just with orange and white mixed in now. To top off my birthday, I got a call from my favorite little buddy. He turned 5 yesterday and just wanted to call and tell me happy birthday. It was a great ending to my birthday.

Kid at Heart

It seems like the older you get, the farther away your childhood becomes.  You look at people that are growing older, not necessarily old, but becoming adults.  They are out in the real world now and sometimes it's like their childhood is nothing but a very distant memory.  With every year comes another birthday, another year older, and another year farther from childhood.  With my 19th birthday coming up, I am getting ever closer to "the real world."  While I am still young, and at least 3 years away from graduating college, my childhood is the last thing I want to lose.  At church today, I helped with the children's church during the main service.  We talked about Gideon going to war with God on his side.  One of the kids said that if he was Gideon going to war all he would need was armor, a shield, and a sword, and he'd be good to go.  If only it was that easy.  It seems like the older you get the more complicated that answer becomes.  But of course in the Bible, it was even more simple than the answer that the 7 year old gave. In the story, Gideon arms his shoulders with trumpets, torches, and clay jars.  Oooh, scary.  But, like nearly all things associated with God, the impossible happened and Gideon and the Israelites won even though they were extremely out-numbered and not armed with any weapon.  But the Bible story of Gideon and the Israelites really has no relevance here.  Just consider that your Bible lesson of the day.  This Bible story just accompanies the story of the 7 year old and his solution to the war.  The kid's answer was so simple.  And I can remember the days when my answers consisted of that level of simplicity.  When I didn't know about the evil in the world.  When I didn't know about a world outside of my own.  Whenever I get a chance, I like to revert back to those days.  I like to hang out with kids and just be a kid again.  I've been told numerous times by several people that I act like a kid especially when I am around kids.  One particular adult has even threatened to spank me and her kid if we kept acting how we were in a restaurant.  Countless times I would find her staring at me in awe and finally saying, "I swear, everytime you get around my kid you act like a 5 year old."  I truely am a kid at heart, and I forever want to be that way.

Brothers, Mothers, and the Start of the Summer

Well, quite a bit has happened in the last week.  I officially ended my first year of college.  Woot, woot on that one!  And it's looking like my grades were practically perfect.  I know I for sure made three A's, and there is a great possibility I'll make 2 more for all A's once again.  I also made all A's last semester, and my entire life pretty much.  I have never made anything less than A in any class, ever, at any school level.  Feel free to applaud.  I'm just keeping the streak alive.  Another big thing that happened this week was my brother's college graduation.  He pulled an impossible and graduated in three years; well, three years plus this summer.  He doesn't get his actual diploma till after he finishes his internship this summer.  But still, three years and one summer? That is unheard of these days.  It takes most people four, or more to graduate college now-a-days.  So here's to you bro.  Congrats!  The last huge thing that happened this week that I suppose is worth mentioning is that today is Mother's Day.  After a nice church service which my dad preached at since our normal preacher is out of town, we had a lazy day around the house with mother's day cards for mom.  Then we all went to the resteraunt of her choice: Red Lobster.  So, it was a pretty great mother's day, if I do say so myself.  I really do love my mother dearly.  She's just great, great, great.  So here's to you, too, mom.  Love ya!

End of the Semester: Start of the Best Summer Ever

Well, here it is.  The end of my first year in college.  Pretty crazy if you think about it; I mean really think about it.  I know this sounds cliche, but it really does feel like I was hanging out with my friends at White County High School just yesterday all stoked about graduation.  Now, its a whole year later and once again the future lays uncertain.  While I am one small step closer to getting a degree, everything once again looks cloudy.  Some things have seemed to change though.  I actually decided on a major a year before I thought I would (mathematics and secondary education in case you are curious).  But once again here I am, at the end of another school year.  I guess its safe to say I have learned quite a bit.  Of course, a lot of what I learned in the classroom this year will either be pushed to the back of my brain or dumped out completely.  But what I have learned outside of the classroom this year is what I have come to cherish the most.  What I have learned outside of the classroom is what has come to define my freshman year at UT.  While going to class and getting that good quality education is important, the people I've met and the things I have gotten involved with this year have really impacted me.  I've made some of the greatest friends in the world, while still managing to keep a few of the old ones around.  I've jumped back into Young Life by joining a small group with the door to being a high school leader still cracked open.  I joined this awesome group of people on campus called The Navigators and have absolutely relished in the time I've been able to spend with them.  And now, while I'm excited to be done with my first year of college, I am sincerely sad to have to leave all of these great people untill school starts again in August.  Don't worry Sparta, I'm still excited to get to see you, for at least a month anyway. 
It seems crazy that this time a year ago I was making summer plans with my friends before it was off to UT.  I was doing what I wanted with no set agenda.  It truely was a kid's summer.  I had no responsibilities, no job, no school work, nothing.  I slept all day, and hung out with friends all night.  It was perfect.  And until about a month ago, I thought this summer would be the exact same.  I knew I wanted to do something with my summer, something that would make an impact on me or others surrounding me.  My parents didn't really care what I did, just as long as I got a job somewhere and brought in some dough.  And through talking with a friend, I found a way I could possibly do both.  I took a leap of faith and applied to this program called Discipleship Focus.  And lo and behold, I got accepted.  So my previous summer plans of hanging around Sparta with maybe a road trip here or there and a potential job (but more than likely not a job), turned into spending over half of my summer away from Sparta and my family and friends.  I will now be spending the months of June, July, and the first 2 weeks of August in Pigeon Forge living with people I do not know, working at Dollywood, and growing closer and closer to God.  Needless to say, I'm pretty stoked (you'll come to realize I get excited super easily).  It is like everything is falling into place.  I'm doing what I want to do.  While I am nervous and a tad bit sad at the thought of spending barely any time with my friends and family back home, I am really excited to see what this summer now holds for me.  I am excited to see myself grow in the Lord and really see what it is like to completely depend on Him and to practically live on my own.  I am excited to meet all these new people who I know I will come to love and cherish.  I am excited to see what God really has in store for this summer away from home.  I'm just so excited for it all.

Palm Sunday

So in the Methodist Church (born and raised by the way) we have this thing called Palm Sunday.  I don't know if other denominations have this, but this Sunday straight rocks.  As a kid, I absolutely LOVED Palm Sunday.  If I had to rank my favorite parts of Easter or the Lenten Season as a kid it would be: 1) The Easter egg hunt at church. 2) The Easter basket on Easter Sunday morning. 3) Palm Sunday.  On this Sunday everybody got a palm branch leaf thing.  I always looked at all the possible branch options to pick the best one possible.   The kids got to walk in at the start of the service waving their palm branches in front of everyone and lay them at the alter at the front of the Sanctuary.  Then after this I would always have an extra one stashed away to play with during the service, which always ended the same way.  I would always get in trouble for hitting my brother with it or just detroying my palm branch and leaving pieces everywhere.  Of course, now that I have grown older and understand things in the Christian World a little better, my favorite parts of the Easter or Lenten Season have now changed.  They now consist of: 1) Easter Sunday. 2) Palm Sunday. and 3) Ash Wednesday or the Lenten Season as a whole, it is a tie. Palm Sunday has raised in the ranks.  Even though now I know why we have this Sunday, I can't help but feel like a kid every year on this particular Sunday.  Today, while in church, I found myself sitting in my pew waving and messing with my palm branch (which I stole from my parents because theirs was way better than mine.)  I waved it around as the kids walked in and then proceeded to mess with it the entire service.  But since I'm older, I am way better at multi-tasking. So don't worry Preacher, I listened.  These days, I hold on to every moment that makes me feel like a kid again kind of like this morning.  One reason I love Palm Sunday is because I get the chance to be a kid again, or at least act like one.

Home Sweet Home

People say, "Home is where the heart is."  Even though most of my time is spent away at school these days, my heart belongs to my home town.  Tonight was just another reminder of why I love my home town so much.  I came into town for the weekend to get away from school.  I spent the day lounging around the house and took a nap (you'll come to realize napping is one of my favorite past-times).  For dinner, I ate out with some friends of mine that I haven't seen in a while.  We ate and laughed and laughed.  We sat and talked till we were the last people in the restaraunt.  Of course, we talked about all the good "dirt" that was going on.  My favorite story of the night was a little drama on one of the high school's sports team.  Let's just leave the story at someone was kicked off a team and that someone took some of their clothes off in front of a whole lot of people.  Great story, right?  My home town seems so interesting sometimes.  To an outsider looking in we probably seem like a bunch of rednecks that don't know anything.  While we do have our share of those, we are so much more interesting than that.  There are unsolved crimes that everyone continues to talk about; there is the 20 some-odd teenage girls pregnant at the county high school; there are the local sports teams, and oh don't forget about the 5 stores that have "dollar" in the title.  While we have our share of drama and fights (probably more than our share actually), we love each other dearly.  Everytime I come in town for a weekend or whenever I have a break from school, I get to come home, where my heart is.  I get to hang out with some of the best friends in the world and get all caught up on the goings on in this small town.  Some of the things that happen never cease to amaze me.  Home is definitely where my heart is.

So This Guy Jesus...

So this guy Jesus once said, "Don't be afraid; just believe" (Mark 5:36, look it up).  Today, I kept coming back to this verse.  I kept thinking and thinking about it.  It seems so simple.  Just a short 5 word sentence with no hidden agenda.  It means what it says.  But if it is so simple, why then do we, as Christians, make it so hard?  It seems like this part of this verse is kind of one of those "easier said than done" sentences, like "I can put together a car" or "I can ace this chemistry test."  All it takes is faith in Jesus, but we constantly find ourselves second guessing ourselves and Jesus.  We find ourselves thinking or saying things like, "But what if God can't" or "There is just no way."  But right after Jesus said this, you know what he did?  He raised a girl from the dead.  Pretty powerful stuff right?  Inside our hearts, no matter the questions in our head, we know that God can do anything; he is, afterall, God.  According to Jesus we just have to believe.  If we believe in Him, anything is possible.  And without Him, nothing is possible. 

Like Sand in an Hourglass...

...so flows the days of our lives.  Well some lives atleast.  My life, on the otherhand, flows more like water in the Ocoee River.  With twists and turns, rapids and calm spots, my life is anything but boring and definitely nothing like grains of sand going from one end of an hourglass to another.  There are times when things get rough or exciting, and there are times when things just seem to slow down and everything is just peachy-keen.  Each moment in my life has its pros and cons.  Some moments outshine the others, and some seem to define me in the eyes of the world.  I find delight and joy and excitement in most moments in my life.  In others I find sadness and sorrow; these moments I try my best to avoid.  I've been through a lot, though not near as much as some people.  While specific moments in time may seem to fill this blog and at times you may find yourself laughing aloud, I hope that somewhere in between the limrics and the anecdotes you may find something inspirational or at least useful in your own lives.